


to be(lieve) in love

by letuslovelarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Romantic Fluff, ed appears mostly at the end but yeah he's important here :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:31:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3094055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letuslovelarry/pseuds/letuslovelarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Louis stopped to think about the hard times, and how Harry would always make sure they were fine after all. He couldn't think of a better person to love, to receive love from. “You know, during all the Take Me Home tour, man, that was hard, that whole year was hard for us, but before and after every concert Harry would say: “We’ll be fine.” And just like that I knew, Ed, I knew we would. Because he promised we would, and I believed him.”</i><br/> <br/>In which Louis and Harry like to show proof of their love for each other through tattoos and songs and stars.<br/>Or, Louis helps Ed Sheeran to write 18, for Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to be(lieve) in love

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this went down really fast, One Direction are on a break and I'm really bored so there's that.  
> The three songs Ed wrote and that I choose to be my headcanon in this fic were because I've always thought they go together. [Check it out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoKdZhdaahs)  
> Also, I changed the songs a bit, but you can't even notice because most of them were pronouns like what was "you" became "me" and stuff, but there's an explanation for that, go read it!
> 
> Can't believe how in love they are, I hope you guys enjoy it. x

  **January 2012**

Louis felt tempted to take all those portraits standing on his shelf, put them on his arms and hold them all close to his heart. He knew that would be absolutely ridiculous but that’s how he felt. He felt ridiculous.

It was ridiculous to think that he was standing there, in the living room of his house. No, not his. _Their_ house. This beautiful, warm and cozy place has been their home since they left The X Factor house. It was ridiculous to think he got so lucky to find the most amazing boy in the world and that destiny put them in the same band together. Ridiculous that he would love that boy from the moment he put his eyes on him and it was definitely absolutely ridiculous that the boy would share the feeling and would love him back.

Louis had been looking at those pictures for minutes, letting his own luck sink in on his heart. In one of the portraits he could see a eighteen year old Louis, soft fringe all over his face, a tan he couldn’t remember how he got, the stupidest smile on his face, right next to a sixteen year old Harry, for some reason his hair looked even more curly than they are, he’s got a huge smile and neither of them had any idea of how life was about to change for them.

He got caught on memories of everything they had been through since the day they met. The decisions they had to make, the fame, the tour, the good days, the bad days. He was glad he got to go through it all with Harry, guiding him everyday, enlightening him when the skies were gray. Harry was his personal star and that’s the reason Louis had that tiny piece of paper on his pocket, just waiting for Harry to wake up to give it to him.

Louis noticed he had a few tears running down his face. As he was wiping it with the back of his hand, he felt big and warm hands holding him from behind and Harry stuck his face on Louis’ left shoulder.

“Getting a bit emotional, Lou?” Harry said to Louis’ ear, on his husky morning voice.

Louis smiled and turned his body to face Harry. The boy had only his white boxers on even though it was January 1st and it was freezing cold even with the heating on. Louis untied his robe and pulled Harry to a hug so he could put it around him too. His body felt like ice and made Louis’ body shiver.

“And you tryna get a cold, Haz?” Louis kissed Harry’s forehead and then both his cheeks and finally pressed a gentle kiss on his mouth.

Harry shrugged. “I’m resistant.” He got closer to Louis. “And you, you didn’t tell me why you were crying just now, you sneaky bastard. Don’t you think you can buy me with kisses.”

“Can’t I?” Louis distractedly said while he kissed Harry’s eyebrows. He made a line of kisses from there to his neck, pressing a soft bite there.

Harry had his eyes closed. “You were saying?” Louis teased, a smirk on his face.

Harry opened his eyes just to stick his tongue out, in a very childish way to protest. That only made Louis bite Harry’s tongue and turn that into a two minute kiss.

When things were getting too hot for the robe, Louis pulled away and happily announced: “I made us breakfast!”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. “I find you crying and now you tell me you made breakfast? You, Louis Tomlinson made breakfast? I’m  honestly worried now.”

Louis laughed, a great and loud laugh that fulfilled the silence in their living room.

“Maybe it’s the whole New Year thing, uh? New chance to try new things, they say. Maybe that’s me trying new things.”

Harry was about to start protesting so Louis got them both out of the robe, took Harry’s hand and led him to their kitchen. He made – tried to – eggs and prepared bread and cheese and bacon, some fruits he found on the freezer, coffee for Harry and tea for himself. Not much but he hoped this was one of the cases where the intention mattered the most.

“Now, why don’t you go upstairs and look for something to get you warm while I serve us both?” Louis said, already putting tea on his cup.

Harry didn’t took long and as soon as he got back they started eating. Louis noticed the boy’s eyes were always on him when he wasn’t looking. Like he was trying to understand something. Louis thought it was funny so he didn’t break the silence untill they were both done with the food.

“Will you stop looking at me like a creepy stalker of ours?”

“Will you tell me what’s really happening?”

Louis smiled and pulled his chair closer to Harry’s. He put his hands on his favorite spot on Harry’s hair and started to caress him.

“Darling I told you, nothing is happening.” He tried to assure the other boy.

“Then why the hell were you crying?” Harry wasn't mad, just genuinely curious and even a bit frustrated. Even being younger than Louis, he always felt the need to protect him from anything. He could exaggerate sometimes but Louis loved that about him.

“I just... I just love you a lot, that’s all.” Louis’ hands went from Harry’s hair to his cheeks.

“Do I make you cry, then? What did I do?” A tiny expression mark was starting to appear in between Harry’s eyebrows.

“You loved me back, Harry.” Louis brought his hand back to hold his own. He always felt a bit awkward talking about his feelings but he loved to do that with Harry. He needed to know how much he loved him. “You loved me back and it caught me off guard. You showed me who I really am and you gave me strength to be. You were there for me, in good or bad. I’m just really grateful and I love you a lot, Harry.”

Harry was listening to every word carefully and his expression was softening every second. When Louis was done, Harry suddenly stood up, which wasn’t what Louis was expecting at all but he followed his lead and stoop up too. Harry took Louis’ face on his hands and made them hold eye contact for a few minutes before he spoke.

“But... you know I love you that much too, don’t you?” Harry said.

“Yes, I do.”

“Everything’s fine then. Because as long as you know I love you as much as you love me, I’ll be okay. As long as you know I’ll always be there to make sure you’re okay... That’s all I care about.”

Louis felt like he was about to start crying again. That’s how much power Harry had over him. He had always felt like his own body couldn’t handle the amount of love he had for that boy. He felt like any moment he would break and combust into flames because of that love. It was too much and it was too good. Louis’ kissed Harry and it took all of him. He felt his own tears again but Harry didn’t pull apart. They kissed passionately, with all they had, in their kitchen, in their house. Louis felt the luckiest man in the world.

When they finally ended the kiss, Harry kissed Louis’ forehead. “I love you a lot, silly boy.” He said.

“It's mutual, Harry.” Louis said and he knew that was the perfect moment to hand his gift to Harry. “Hey, love. I’ve got something to give to you... It’s not even give it’s more like... show. Yeah, I have something to show to you.”

Harry was caressing Louis’ cheeks but he stopped to give him a confused look once again.

Louis grabbed Harry’s hands and put some strength in it, making the other boy sit back on the chair while he sat in his. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing major. I’m not gonna die or announce that I have a serious disease so wipe this expression off your face already, will ya?”

Harry was finally able to smile. “I’m sorry, Lou. Go on.”

“So... you know how I’m really silly sometimes and really emotional and I love you a lot but don’t laugh at me for this, okay? I know it’s silly but I really wanted to do this, I’ve wanted to for a while and now seemed the perfect moment, but will you promise that you won’t laugh or I don’t know, break up with me?”

Harry laughed. “The only way I’d leave you is if you asked me to. Or maybe even then I could join your stalker crew, who knows?” He glanced at Louis, in a supportive way. “Come on, I’m dying over here.”

“Okay so... just read it already. I can’t say it out loud, I’ll sound too stupid.” Louis handed the little piece of paper he took out of the robe’s pocket to Harry and closed his eyes, his heart trying to beat out of his chest in anticipation for Harry’s reaction.

Louis tried to not even breathe while Harry was reading the letter he had read many times himself. When the boy finished, he had the cutest expression on his face. Louis could see he was amazed so he relaxed a bit.

“You... You named a star after me?” Harry said in a tremulous voice and Louis just really wanted to kiss him.

“I... yeah.” Louis had to clear his throat twice before forming a sentence again. “I’ve always had this feeling that you were my star. My personal star, sent to me to be my light and to guide me through my path. Because really, that’s what you do, Harry. You make me a better person. You showed me of how much I’m capable, you showed me that I can dream big because you will be there for me everytime. So yeah, I named a star after you, but as I said, I’m not giving it to you, I’m showing you this because this belongs to me, you are my star, Harry. Now it’s out there for me to keep it forever.”

Harry stood up and pulled Louis’ into his arms, his legs all around Harry’s torso, their hands all around each other.

“I love you, Louis.”

“I love you, Harry.”

And just like that, Louis knew that was gonna be a great year.

  

**February 2012**

Harry had been planning this for a whole month. He was sure he wanted to do that. He didn’t know what Louis was gonna say about it but he knew his mother would kill him. It was a worth price to pay.

“You sure ‘bout that, bro?” Harry had invited Zayn to help him with his plan, considering he knew a lot more about this kind of stuff than Harry. “This is like, huge step. Permanent shit.”

“It’s like asking me if I’m sure I love him, Zayn.”

“And for that I already have the answer.” Zayn opened the door of the place for Harry and didn’t ask any more questions all night. 

 

***

Harry went home and it was past midnight, he was sure he would find Louis already sleeping and he felt bad about having to wake him up but he really wanted to show him his newest achievement.

Harry put his bag on the living room’s floor, glad that he took that weight off his arm, which was still very achy. He couldn’t believe what he had done. He had to tell Louis. He walked on his tippy toes to their bedroom and later he thought that was a stupid thing to do, considering he would wake Louis up anyways, but he wasn’t thinking.

As expected, Louis was already sleeping. He had Harry’s sweater on and Harry loved how it fit him perfectly, they were almost the same size. He sat on his side of bed, next to Louis and leaned his head, to speak next to Louis’ face.

“Lou, love, wake up, I’ve got something to show you.”

Louis had a really heavy sleep so he didn’t wake up in Harry’s first three attempts.

“What...?”

“It’s me, Lou. I’m home.”

“Harry!” Louis said but didn’t open his eyes, still sleepy.

“Lou, I hate to wake you up but I promise this is the last time, can you just open your eyes for a few seconds, I need to show you something.”

After a few minutes Louis noticed Harry wouldn’t give up so he made his best to sit straight and pay attention to him.

“Okay, what is it, then?” Louis rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands and Harry could swear his own eyes had never seen something so lovely.

“I love you, Lou.”

“I love you too, Harry. But I hope you didn’t wake me up to tell me this or I swear...”

Harry laughed. “Nope, that’s not it. Be patient, come on.”

“I can't be patient when my eyes aren’t burning this much, damn!”

Harry laughed again and leaned in to kiss Louis’ forehead. Then he placed a gentle kiss on both Louis’ eyes and leaned back to his place.

“You think you can be patient now?” Harry had a smirk on his face.

“You sucker.” Louis said, crossing his arms and he looked like a child.

“You look so cute when you’re angry, you know that?” Harry pinched Louis’ cheek.

Louis sighed. “So... what is it so important that you have to show me at this time of....” He looked at the clock on their nightstand. He saw the date, February 1st. His eyes widened and his mouth turned into a shaped “O”. “HARRY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.” He said, louder than ever.

“I suppose, yeah.” Harry said with a smile.

Louis threw himself into Harry’s arms, his own in the back of Harry’s neck, giving him a lot of quick kisses and whispering “Happy Birthday” in between them.

Harry had to contain Louis or they’d both fall out of bed.  He put his boy on his lap and hugged him.

“Thank you, Lou. But that’s not the reason I woke you up.”

Louis pulled back to look at Harry’s eyes. “’s not? What is it then?”

“So, remember when exactly a month ago you got me... actually, you got yourself a star? And you named it after me?” Harry started, always running his fingers on Louis’ face.

“Duh-uh. It’s not like I got it framed or something.” Louis pointed to the nightstand where said frame was, next to the clock and a picture of the boys on a ski trip.

“So... I thought I’d do something similar for you... for me... actually, for us.”

Louis face went red, Harry could see it even though the room was dark, the only light coming from their lampshade. “You named a star after me?”

“Not quite. I thought of something closer to us than the sky. Closer to my heart, you know?”

“Harry, you’re making me anxious. What is it?” Louis’ eyes were curious, wandering around their room, trying to find something unusual.

“It’s actually closer than that, Lou. It’s like... really, really close to my heart.” Harry’s voice broke in the last word, he noticed he was nervous too.

“What can be so close like that? Unless...” Harry thought Louis was finally getting to it, he could almost hear the pieces of the puzzle crashing together on his brain. After a few seconds he put both his hands on his mouth. “Oh no, you wouldn’t!”

Harry had to fix his hair because he didn’t know what else to do, he was still waiting for Louis to realize it all on his own so he wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

“What do you think it is?”

“Oh!! Oh fuck! But you wouldn’t, would you? I mean... It would be great if you would but my point is why would you? Nah.” Apparently Louis forgot Harry was there and was having a conversation with his inner self.

Harry, however, already knew Louis had figure it out. He knew Harry too well and if he could remember, they had a conversation about this few months before. Louis was still on his one man convo.

“Louis.” But he wasn’t paying attention so Harry put his hands on Louis’ face again, to settle him down. “Lou, listen.”

“But Harry...”

“Listen, love. You’re right. Of course you’re right. I did it. I got a tattoo.” And it was out there. He finally said it and it felt great.

Louis was conflicted about what to say first so when he spoke, his voice was thick. His eyes never left Harry’s. “Can I see it?”

Harry lifted his left arm so Louis could see his upper arm better. There was a recently tattooed star filling the blank skin and Harry loved it from the very first moment, he knew it was the right thing to do, there was never a doubt.

Louis didn’t take his eyes off the star for a single moment. “But Harry... I don’t understand... why?”

“Louis, what do you mean you don’t understand? You don’t understand how much I love you? I want you to, then. Since the moment you showed me that piece of paper with my name written on it, I knew I had to do something too. Because Louis, I wish I could’ve said it that night and I’m sorry I didn’t but truth is you’re my star too, Lou.”

“Harry...”

“No, let me do this. Honestly? I knew from the moment I saw you. Just like me getting this tattoo, there was no doubt about it. I knew we’d be something great, I knew I’d want to protect you and love you in every way possible. And you seem to be so amazed that I love you but let me tell you, I can’t believe you love me this much either. You are so good to me, Louis. I would’ve never survive this madness if you weren’t there with me, be sure of that. I know we are young, I know we still have a lot of things to live and I want us to live such things together. So, if you ever doubt my love for you, now you have proof, inked in my skin forever, yeah, Louis, forever. Because I may not know what the future holds for us but I’m sure of just one thing: I will always want you there with me.”

“Harry...”

Harry noticed Louis had tears in his eyes and for his surprise, he had too. He ran out of words but it didn’t seem enough. The words, the tattoo, it never seemed enough to show Louis how much he meant to him. Harry kissed him gently but Louis’ lips were urgent, hurried, ardent.

They ended up laying on bed, Harry’s hair all over their pillows, Louis’ kissing every single inch of his face. Then Louis took Harry’s left wrist with his right hand and held it to the bed. He then leaned to kiss Harry’s new tattoo. He tried to be as gentle as possible, he could imagine it still hurt because it was a bit red around it. He kissed his star multiple times then turned to look Harry in the eyes.

“I really fucking love you, Harry.”

“I really fucking love you too, Louis.”

 

*** 

**November 2013**

“Aren’t you just glad this year is ending?” Louis had been throwing a pillow in the air for the past thirty minutes, he couldn't stand still before a concert, especially not the last one of the tour. His stomach was giving him a hard time and he couldn't stop shivering every now and then.

“I could say that, yeah. But the worst is yet to come so...” How Harry could be laying in bed just two hours before the biggest concert of their lives, was a mistery.

“Ugh. December.” Louis thought about what December means to them and felt the need to throw up. He was glad he didn’t.

“Come on, let’s be positive. Your birthday is on Decemeber.”

“And apparently they think it’s your birthday too, ‘cause they always send you a present, uh?”

Harry laughed out loud and Louis couldn't help but laughing too. Maybe it was the nervousness but they ended up laughing for three minutes non-stop.

“Ah, I’m glad we’ve got each other after all.” Harry said after they stopped laughing.

“Yeah we do.” Louis dropped the pillow so he could cuddle Harry with his arms. He thought about it and it was true. He didn't care there was a million people outside, working for them – or against them, you call it - , he didn't care about fame, about being successful. Nothing of that would matter if Harry wasn't by his side. “Can you believe, love? It’s been almost four years.”

“I know, it’s insane.” Harry curled up against Louis’ torso. “How did I not leave you in the first opportunity I got?”

“Ha-ha, very funny” Louis punched Harry’s arm and hugged him again. “Wanting to go single for the first time in December, Styles?”

“Don’t you, dare.” Harry laughed. “But for real, I’m glad we didn’t change.”

“Well, we got a couple more tattoos.” Louis said as he ran his fingers on Harry’s tattooed arm, the same one as he tattooed Louis’ little star so long ago.

“You don’t say, mister _I’ll get the matching whatever my boyfriend tattoos on him_.”

“Ha! As if you don’t love it! Cut it off, Harry.”

They stayed quiet for a while, each of them submerged on their own billion thoughts about their journey.

“You know what I was thinking, Harry?”

“Mhm??”

“It’s been a year – well and a couple months – that you wrote Little Things with Ed.”

“You mean your song?”

“Shut up!! But can I say I was so fucking emotional when you sang it to me for the first time?! There I was, pajamas on, Breaking Bad marathon on Tv and you came through the door, screaming that you had an epiphany about me and you and Ed wrote a song about it.”

Harry smiled. “And your first reaction was to ask me what the hell was I doing with Ed! Not even a “Thank you, Harry, I wanna hear the song, Harry.” Nothing!” He pretended to be offended.

“I hadn’t even processed what you were saying! I was sleepy and you had this crazy look on your eyes...”

“That’s called love.”

“That’s called creepy, Harry.” Louis pulled away form the snuggle so he could sit on the bed and caress Harry’s hair. “Anyways, you made him teach you the easiest four chords in the world...”

“Heeeey!”

“As I was saying... easiest chords in the world and you just sat there on the floor, looking at me in the eyes all the time and making me fall in love with you all over again.”

“I’d do that everyday, love.” Harry had his eyes closed and Louis thought he was the single most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He felt this way when he was eighteen, he felt it now and he was sure he would feel like this when he was seventy. “Actually...”

“What?”

Harry sat straight in bed and reached for his phone. Louis could see he typing “ _come now”_ and he wondered who the hell Harry was texting.

“You’re such a party pooper, Louis Tomlinson.” Harry said.

“Me? What the fuck did I do now?”

“Kept talking about Little Things, ruined my surprise.” Louis was getting mad but mostly because he could see Harry was taking the piss out of him, he had the widest smirk on his face, his dimple as deep as the Grand Canyon.

“Will you make sense at least once, for goodness sake! Who were you texting to come now?” Louis said, throwing his hands in the air.

Harry never had to answer that question because someone knocked on their dressing room’s door. He stood up on his feet to open the door.

“Hey, thank you for coming, I know you’re busy and stuff...” Louis heard Harry saying.

“Nah, ‘s okay. It’s for you guys, after all.” A very familiar voice said.

“Oi, I’m still here?” Louis hated when he sounded so jealous but he also hated to be clueless about things.

He didn’t even see it coming but Louis was suddenly suffocated by a red-haired mass that smelled like mints.

“ED!!!” Louis managed to say.

“I missed you too, you moody bastard.” Ed said, getting off of Louis.

When Louis let everything sink in, he was as clueless as before. “What the hell are you doing here? In Japan, of all places!”

“Ahh, was around for a few gigs. You’re not the only one famous here, y’know?” Ed said, sitting in the bed with Louis. Harry was watching everything, standing with Ed’s guittar on his hands.

“But I mean... You gig certainly isn’t _here_. On our dressing room, I mean.”

“If you’re not happy to see me, Louis, just say it already!” Ed punched the boy with a pillow and they started a pillow fight that went on for a few painful minutes.

“Louis,” Harry said, louder than the other two. “Ed is here for a reason other than kicking your ass with this pillow.”

“Is that so?” Louis fixed his fringe and tried to act more like a grown up.

“That is so, my love.” Ed kissed his cheek and stood up to be next to Harry. He took the guitar off his hands and started to uncase it. Harry was back on Louis’ side, in bed.

“You know how I love your love and your story and I love you guys... even asked for maybe a threesome but Harry won’t even think about it!” He winked at Louis while Harry pretended he was vomiting. “Anyways, your boyfriend, love of your life – whatever it is you call each other – called me, drunk as hell, when we were back in London. You weren't home because you were with... I mean, you had things to do, responsibilities. So, Harry got wasted and of course he couldn't ruin just his night he had to ruin mine too.”

Louis looked at Harry, waiting for confirmation, he just shrugged and looked back at Ed. Louis didn't know about this. He knew Harry didn't like when he had his stunts to do but that’s how it’s been for them for a while and he thought he had gotten used to it. He was wrong. Louis felt horrible.

“So...” Ed continued. “We went out, for more drinks, of course and he ended up at my house because he could barely walk. While there, I treated him well, you’re welcome, and as he was getting sober, he started talking about someone in particular. Can you lads guess this one? Of course it was Louis sweet cheeks Tomlinson. He wouldn't shut up about you, Louis. Then I, genius as I am, came up with the idea of writing yet another song for our muse, since the first one was a success. So, Harry wrote most of it and I put the music.”

“And,” Now it was Harry’s time to talk. “These are not the four easiest chords on the planet so I asked Ed if he could stop by and sing it to you.”

“Oh my god, guys! Harry!” Louis couldn't believe that. Harry didn't fail to surprise him in all these years. He was excited about it and afraid it would be too much for his heart. He was already anxious about the last concert, now this. “Let me hear it then.”

Ed cleared his throat, fixed his guitar and got ready to start singing. Harry got closer to Louis, their hands laced together. Their own private show.

 _Loving can hurt_  
Loving can hurt sometimes  
But it’s the only thing that I know...

Louis could feel every single word Ed was singing like they were coming out of Harry’s mouth. He held his boyfriend’s hand a bit more tighter.

 _Loving can heal_  
Loving can mend your soul  
And it's the only thing that I know

Louis risked a glance at Harry and his heart skipped a beat. The boy’s eyes were tearing up and he was so beautiful and Louis loved him so much. He didn’t ever want to be the reason for those tears ever again.

Louis stood up and reached out for Harry’s hand, he looked confused but took it anyways. “Dance with me, love.”

“Louis, but Ed...”

“I don’t care. Dance with me.” Louis pulled him harder and he gave in.

 _Where our eyes are never closing_  
Our hearts were never broken  
And time's forever frozen still

Harry and Louis were chest to chest, face to face, slowly dancing to their song. Louis held Harry’s hands on his own, next to their hearts and their eyes didn’t leave each other’s. Ed didn’t seem to bother, kept singing.

The song was beautiful. It talked about a love that overcame everything, their love. It could be kinda sad if you didn’t know the story behind it but Louis knew, he knew what Harry meant.

Harry leaned his head on Louis’ shoulder and started singing along.

 _Oh you can fit me_  
Inside the necklace you got me  
When I was sixteen  
Next to my heartbeat where you should be  
Keep it deep within my soul

“Harry, I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you.” Louis couldn’t stop saying that. He wanted them to be free and to be younger but they were right where they were supposed to be now, there was no coming back. They just had to be there for each other.

“I love you too, Louis. It’s okay.”

_When I'm away_  
 _I will remember how you kissed me_  
 _Under the lamppost back on 6th street_  
 _Hearing you whisper through the phone_  
 _Wait for me to come home_

Ed left as soon as the song ended, giving them some privacy. Louis was glad to have a friend like Ed, he was glad he had support of the other boys in the band, he knew how much they meant to Harry too.

“Ed asked us for permission to release that song. He promised he would change some things so it wouldn’t be... you know.”

“Are you kidding me? I love the song, tell him he can do that, I’d love to!” Louis didn’t let go of Harry’s hand. He knew they didn’t have much time now, they had to get ready for the concert. “And Harry...”

“Louis, it’s okay, really. I was just drunk and I missed you. But we’ve gone through this multiple times. Don’t worry.” Harry promised him.

“I know but I don’t want you to go through this alone. When you feel like this, call me, even if I’m away, even if its three in the morning, I want you to call me and we’ll figure things out together.”

Louis fondly looked at Harry. He had watched his sixteen year old boy grow to a man. They were once the same size but now Harry was twice as huge as Louis. He had been working out, he was taller, his hair was longer, his eyes were more tired, but it didn’t mattered. Harry would always be Louis’ little boy and Louis would give him the world if he asked him to.

“The next years are gonna be better, okay?”

“Okay.”

Louis kissed both Harry’s hands and hugged him tight.

“We’ll be fine.”

“I know we will, love.”

 

***

**January 2014**

Louis had never been so glad a month was ending like he was feeling about January. Harry had been in LA for what it seemed forever and he was stuck in London, doing his duties and staying out of public eyes for most of the time.

That wasn't great because one, he missed Harry each day more than the day before; two, he found out he doesn't really know how to take care of a whole house alone, considering him and Harry had lived together for the past four years; and three, if he was staying out of public sightings, he didn't have a lot of places to go and he had already spent some great two weeks with his family in his mother’s house.

So he was having a hard time trying not to bang his head on his bedroom walls. Louis decided to check twitter – that’s how bored he was – and he regreted as soon as he checked his mentions. Mixed with a billion “follow me louis” tweets, he found a lot of rude ones.

_“all these people questioning about Larry! I’m sorry Louis, don’t hate me!”_

_“guys, louis is blocking people who ship Larry!! He hates us :(“_

_“you homophobic prick! Rude af ! I hope you die !!”_

He wanted to scream. That’s why he hated logging in any social media. People had such a wrong idea about him. They think he’s rude and boastful and that he actually hates people who support him and Harry. If they only knew!

He wanted to reply to every single one of those comments, he wanted to say how sorry he was that they felt that way about him, he wanted to say it wasn’t his fault. He wanted to tweet something that would change everything. He started to type something.

_“I got a heart and I got a soul. Believe me, I use them both”_

He deleted it as soon as he finished typing the last word, afraid he wouldn’t resist the temptation of pressing “tweet”. He couldn't, at least not for now.

Harry would only be home on Sunday, which gave Louis the whole Saturday alone. He spent the day trying to clean the house for when he got home but didn’t make much progress throughout the day. At six in the evening he just gave up trying. It was too cold and he was too anxious to do anything. He wanted to get drunk and sleep untill the next day.

Louis decided to call someone but the options were little. Niall was back in Ireland, of course, enjoying his family and friends and pints and the last weeks of break. Last he heard from Liam, he was going on a trip with Sophia to a very sunny place he couldn’t remember the name. And Zayn... Well, he hadn’t heard about Zayn in days, maybe weeks, he was probably locked home, drawing and painting the shit out of it. Louis thought about Ed but he hadn’t spoke to him since Japan and he didn’t even know if he was home or on tour or somewhat.

 _What a great friend I am_ , Louis thought. _Ed goes out of his way in freaking Japan to make me a serenade and I don’t even know if he’s on tour or not. Nice._

He made himself dial Ed’s number and be a good for once.

“Hello?”

“Ed!”

“Who’s this?”

“It’s your mother, that’s who. Why the hell don’t you have my number?!”

“I’m sorry, I have it saved as ‘my bitch’ so I didn’t know which one it was.”

Louis heard Ed gasp and laugh out loud.

“Fucking idiot.”

“You called me!”

“Yeah, already regretting I did.”

“Tell me what is it, love. Although I have an idea.”

“You do?” Louis voice sounded louder than he planned.

“Apparently I'm yours and Harry’s back up plan for when the other is away. Someting about my sex appeal?”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Are you telling me I’m wrong?”

“You’re not right!”

“Okay, so what is it?”

“Ughh, you win. Harry’s been in LA for almost the whole month so... I feel lonely and... I just want a drinking buddy, okay? There, I said it.”

Ed couldn’t stop laughing at the other side of the line.

“Are you coming or not?!”

In between laughs, Ed managed: “I’ll be there in 20.” Then he hang up.

 

*** 

“...so he tells me “now!” and the fucking Ace of Spades isn’t even on his hands, it’s on mine! That was great, best magician I’ve met in forever.” Ed finished his story, drinking a bit more.

“’s cool, bro.”

Louis knows he wasn’t the best company for the night but Ed didn’t seem to care. He was a gentleman and brought the drinks and didn’t mention Louis’ lack of interest in his stories. They were watching a match but Louis couldn’t remember who was winning. He couldn’t even rememeber who was playing.

“You okay, Louis?” Ed broke the silence after a while.

“Just miss him, that’s all.” Louis shrugged.

“I don’t think you two realize how much of each other you have on yourselves. I mean, it’s like talking to the same person! Kinda creepy.”

“What you mean?” Louis straightened on his sofa.

“This thing you just did... That’s such a Harry thing to do. You guys are even letting your hair grow at the same time, come on. It’s not Harry, space, Louis anymore. It’s HarryandLouis, like, all together.”

Louis felt good hearing that. He loved the idea of him and Harry as a couple. Someday, he’d take Harry and stand in front of The Big Ben before midnight on New Year’s Eve and scream to everyone hear. “He’s mine. I’m his. We’re together. And happy. Suck it, world!”

“Is that a bad thing, Ed? I mean, do you think what me and Harry have could not be healthy?”

“Nah, I didn’t mean it like this, Lou. You guys are the best thing I know, the truest, kindest, craziest kind of love I’ve ever heard about. Your love inspire me. And it’s okay to miss him that much, bro. He felt the same way back then when... you know. You guys have spent four years attached by the hip, of course you’d miss him.”

“You know, Ed. You’re quite cool when you’re not being a dick.”

“I love you too, Louis.” Ed replied, drinking a bit more.

Louis couldn't stop thinking about Harry. It was like every sip of drink only added on how much he missed his boy. He thought about what Harry would be doing in that moment, if Harry was thinking about him, if he missed Louis as much as Louis missed him. He thought about Harry opening the door to their house the following day, probably with a lot of presents for Louis.

“You know what?” Louis had an idea.

“Mhmm-?”

“I’m gonna write a song for him.”

“But Strong... and...”

“No, no, I know but I mean like... with you! Like he did for me with Little Things and the other one from Japan.”

“Oh, nice! I’m in, of course.” Ed, who was sitting on the floor, joined Louis on the sofa. “By the way, I named that song Photograh. Thanks for allowing me to release it.”

“Nah, we’re happy to.” Louis excused himself off the living room and went searching for his laptop. He took a few good minutes finding it under the pile of clothes on his bedroom. Harry was so gonna kill him. He needed to write that song, now more than ever.

Back to the sofa, Ed had his songwriter face on and Louis knew that was a great idea. Harry had done that for him twice, it was about time to pay it back. Also, his birthday was in the following week so that would be an amazing gift. But not the only one, of course. Louis already bought everything for Harry’s birthday.

“So what do you wanna talk about?” Ed asked him.

“Harry.” Was all Louis could say.

“Really? I thought we were writing a song about me, got excited for a moment there.” Ed rolled his eyes. “Of course it’s about him, but what exactly? Your journey, your love, your sexlife?” He winked at Louis.

“Nope, I’m sure I already grossed out the other boys enough with No Control.” Louis laughed with the memories of the boys’ face when he showed them his song.

“You lads already have a whole new album???”

“Nah, we got maybe four to five songs, still got a lot of work to do...”

“So do we! So, spit this love out, Tomlinson!” Ed made a hand gesture and almost dropped his drink.

“It would be better if you tell me where to start. I’m kinda nervous, man.” Louis had a huge slip of his beer.

“You know, I was thinking. Little Things and Photograph are quite similar, I mean, musically, you could even make a mash-up because of how similar they sound...”

“Your point being?”

“I’m just saying maybe we could follow this lead? Maybe do something similar, musically? So that’d be like, you and Harry writing the same song, just from different points of view?”

Louis thought about that for a second. “Ed, I hate to admit it but you’re brilliant!”

“Ha!” Ed laughed. “Okay so... I already have something in mind, don’t know where it will fall, maybe you’ll like it?”

“Let me hear!” Louis rested his beer on the floor to pay full attention to Ed as he started singing.

 _So kiss me where I lay down_  
My hands pressed through your cheeks  
A long way from the playground

“Something like this?” Ed looked at Louis, expecting him to react.

“Ed, that’s amazing! He’s gonna love it!” Louis said, excited.

“These are just three verses so chill, still got a lot to do.” Ed played a few chords on the guitar, trying to come up with something else. “Louis, how did it feel? I mean, you and Harry had always known it would be hard, you lads had always known some people would be against it, and still... you stayed together... tell me about it.”

Louis crossed both his legs together. “Yeah, man. We knew it would be hard from the beginning. But, we took a chance, you know. It was worth, we’re worth it all. We kept trying and there were always something to try to pull us apart, but we tried and tried and never really gave up on each other.”

Louis stopped to think about the hard times, and how Harry would always make sure they were fine after all. He couldn't think of a better person to love, to receive love from. “You know, during all the Take Me Home tour, man, that was hard, that whole year was hard for us, but before and after every concert Harry would say: “We’ll be fine.” And just like that I knew, Ed, I knew we would. Because he promised we would, and I believed him.”

Ed was still playing on the guitar, humming something from now and then. Louis wondered if he had listened to everything he said.

“Ed?”

“Dude, you just gave me another verse, check it out” He had the biggest smile on his face.

 _We took a chance_  
God knows, we tried  
Yet all along  
I knew we'd be fine

Louis couldn't believe. It had just converted everything he said into lyrics. He was amazed and he wanted to do more. Ed wouldn't stop playing, Louis was getting used to the sound of the music, some words floating through his own head as he opened yet another beer.

_So pour me a drink, oh love  
Let's split the night wide open_

Louis didn’t know where that came from but he was having fun with it. Ed completed the verse.

_And we'll see everything  
We can live in love in slow motion, motion, motion_

They kept singing “motion”, countless times, until the two of them were laughing so hard Ed almost dropped Harry’s guitar to the ground.

“Okay, let’s get serious before we break the whole house.” Ed said. “This can be our second strophe, but we still need to find something to begin the song with. Is there anything, any moment in particular you wanna talk about in the song?”

Then Louis remember what he was ready to tweet in that morning, after he saw all the rude comments about him. He thought, if this was his song and he was being truth to himself, that quote would be perfect to start with. “I may have something. Play the chords again, will ya?”

_I got a heart and I got a soul  
Believe me, I use them both_

“Wow, that’s deep, man.” Ed said, and for once he wasn’t take the shit out of the situation. Louis didn’t say anything. “So, anything else... to complete this verse?”

Louis wanted to put something only him and Harry would completely understand. Something they lived, that was intense, but wasn’t public for the world to know. He searched for old memories, trough all the years and he felt overwhelmed by them. It was hard choosing just one. He thought about tattoos but Strong was already out there, he talked about most of them, except...

“Okay, I think I’ve got something. Just don’t know how to put it out there.”

“Talk about it, then. I’ll help you.”

“Okay so, when we were younger, couple years ago. We still lived in that small flat of ours, remember? Anyway, on New Year’s, 2012, if I’m not wrong, I decided to name a star after Harry and we had a moment about it. Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing.” Ed had a smirk on his face.

“Any fucking way, a month later Harry comes home, with a brand new tattoo. The first one he’s ever gotten. Can you imagine what it was?”

“THE STAR!” Ed said, all excited.

“Exactly. We now have our stars. I have his, on the sky. He has mine, on his arm.”

“You two are crazy.” But Ed smiled.

“Don’t be jealous, love.”

“Okay, I can come up with something. Gimme a second.”

Ed started playing again and what was supposed to be a second turned out to be ten minutes, in which Louis got up to pee and got another round of beers for them.

“So...?” Louis asked while sitting back on the sofa.

Ed didn’t say anything, just started playing.

 _We made a star_  
Be it a false one, I know  
Baby, I don't want to feel alone

Louis’ heart felt warmer while listening to this particular verse. That was it, it was perfect and it was private.

“Ed? If you ever release this song, can you just do a bit of a change? I want this star story to be only mine and Harry’s to keep, okay?”

“I understand.” Ed winked at him. “We have almost the whole song now. What we don’t have is the most importante part of the song: the chorus.”

“Oh don’t worry. I think I already have it in mind.”

Louis sang the chorus so Ed could hear and then they wrote the whole sequence of the song and played it again, the full thing. Ed recorded the chords on Louis’ laptop, so Louis could sing along, considering he couldn’t play guitar to save his life.

Louis was happy with the result. He thanked Ed, not only for the song but for always being there when he –and Harry – needed.

He couldn’t wait till the next night, when Harry would be home and he could sing the song he made for him.

 

***

Harry had already called twice to make sure Louis was gonna be awake when he got home. Only five minutes left for them to see each other again.

Louis planned dinner but he had not the guts to cook it himself so he ordered Harry’s favorite food. He prepared the table for the two of them and couldn't stop checking his watch every now and then. He wanted Harry home in that instant.

After countless minutes, Louis heard the door being unlocked and he didn’t think twice before running to it. Harry had just dropped his bags on the floor when Louis jumped into his arms, Harry lifting him up, holding his back, sniffing his hair.

“Babe!”

“I missed you so much!” Harry walked to the living room, Louis still in his arms. He sat on the sofa, Louis on his lap.

“Can’t believe you’re finally home! It’s been ridiculously boring without you here. Your jokes, your music, everything was so sad without you, Harry.”

“I’m here, now. And I really missed you too. A lot.” Harry’s voice sounded weak.

“Love, you must be so tired. I made dinner but if you want to, you can sleep.”

“You made dinner?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, I ordered dinner. Whatever.” Louis even missed implications.

Louis pressed his lips against Harry’s and both of them were hurried, urgent, needing to quench the thirst they felt for each other the whole month.

Louis caressed Harry’s hair, now so much longer than the month before. He had a red headscarf and he looked beautiful on it. Harry’s stomach growled and they both laughed.

“Okay, I get it. Let’s get you something to eat.”

They had a lovely meal together, their hands always touching some part of each other, eyes never leaving the other.

“Hey, I’ve got something to show you.” Louis started, when they both finished the meal.

“Really? What is it?”

Louis took Harry by his hand and led him to their bedroom. Harry sat in the bed, watching Louis carefully while he turned the laptop on.

“Did you take more nudes?” Harry smirked, all sugestive.

“Is sex the only thing you think about?”

“We must not put your almighty bum to waste.” Harry laughed.

“Later.” Louis winked at him.

He sat in the bed, in front of Harry and he left the recording on point, wanting for him to start.

“So...” Harry said.

“So. Ed stopped by last night.” Louis started.

“Did he?”

“Yep. He said he was our official back up plan.”

Harry laughed. “I suppose he is, then.”

“So I think you know what I’m about to show you...”

“I have an idea.”

“We wrote a song.”

“Okay.”

“For you, actually.”

Harry’s smile doubled it’s size.

“Okay, I’m gonna just do this while I’m feeling brave.”

“Do what?”

“Listen, I’m doing this because I love you and I want you to remember that everyday of your life, I want to make you remember. I want you to be happy and I want to make you feel this way. When we met we were too young and naive, didn’t know much about the world or anything. We only knew we wanted to be together and so we did. Against all odds we stayed together. We grew up together and I wanna grow old with you, Harry. So, here’s another proof of how much I love you, of how much I’m grateful to have you in my life.”

Harry saw  that Louis was pressing play and the music started to play. “Are you gonna sing for me, Louis?”

“Shhh...” Louis told him to be quiet, took a deep breath and tried to focus on why he was doing that.

He started to sing the song and Harry’s eyes were full of water in the first two sentences. As they went through the song and it’s emotions together, Harry got closer to Louis, so he could hold his hands and Louis found it hard to keep singing coherently with Harry’s  big green eyes paying full attention to him.

Louis could his excitement being built to sing the chorus, his favorite part of the song. He put one of his hands on Harry’s hair, the other one still holding Harry’s.

 _I have loved you since I was 18_  
Long before we both thought the same thing  
To be loved and to be in love  
All I can do is say that these arms  
Were made for holding you  
I wanna love like you made me feel when I was 18

At the end he couldn’t hold himself anymore, he threw himself into Harry’s arm, they both whispering “I love you’s”, hands everywhere, wanting to feel more and more of each other.

“Did you like it? Your song?” Louis asked, between a kiss and the other.

Harry didn’t answer, instead, he turned Louis’ body so he could be over it and whispered in his ear. Trying to sing the lines to Louis’ song.

“I have loved you since I was 16.” Harry sang and Louis felt a million butterflies on his stomach.

“Long before we both thought the same thing.” Louis followed the lead and sang along.

“To be loved and to be in love.” They sang together before submerging into another night of endless kisses and  whispered love promises.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/hsoneanonly) and [my tumblr](https://hsoneandonly.tumblr.com). Feedback of any kinds are appreaciated. Kudos, comments, anything. I hope you enjoyed it!


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